A thing liked by me.
Immersion blenders.
That thing you pack in your suitcase, just to tease TSA agents into thinking you're taking down a massive and violent dild' on your business trip.
Immersion blenders.
When I was young, I used to test out my gag reflex by repeatedly imagining what would happen if I blended hair with water. Don't worry. Now that I'm a grown woman, I have grown up woman sick thoughts.
Immersion blenders.
My first IB was made of plastic. Rookie mistake. Plastic melts in piping hot pots of curried coconut curry soup and other things containing alliteration. Not being one to toss away a slightly melted kitchen appliance, I gave it to my brother. If anyone can eat small amounts of melted plastic per use, without consequence, it's him. He once told me that he is worried about being able to make babies because his sperm are so powerful that they would implant an egg from one end, and shoot through it on the other side.
Speaking of eggs, I can't seem to get the shell to come off smoothly these days when I hard boil them. I end up wasting half the egg when I attempt to peel it, and then end up crying alone at my table, mourning the loss of my caloric intake. I follow the instructions word for word on Yahoo Answers, but I'm starting to think that this is all just part of God's bigger plan.
Hard-boiled eggshell removal. Not a thing liked by me.
*Man in trench coat slaps my face, shakes my shoulders, and walks away.*
Where was I.
Goodbye plastic, hello metal!
Since making the switch, I haven't looked back. Except for that one time when I was blending a breakfast smoothie and did happen to look back (in anger), and ended up spraying blueberry smoothie all over my white kitchen. It was almost as much of a disaster as when I was having my period and my vagina sneezed.
Blender that you immerse.
In my eyes, anything that you can consume without having to chew, ranks high on my "Things Liked By Me" list. Thanks to my handy immersion blender, I can soupify the shit out of nearly anything. I recently read that pureed foods should be avoided because they trick your mind into thinking that you are drinking, resulting in less satiation than eating something big and thick.
Hmm.
Lucky for me, I'm the Queen of Trickery, and I've decided that I'm going to blend all my food, and then store it in molds shaped as different types of whole foods. How post-modern of me!
Immersion Blenders.
I like testing how high I can lift it before it starts spraying in my eyes.
Blender a la immers.
The weirdest thing I ever blended with one of these bad boys was hummus. I guess that's not very weird, but I did do something weird with it afterwards, that involved hair and water.
At least once a month I get lost in a fantasy world wherein my hand is a clitoris and my job is to immersion blend soups all day.
Immersion Blenders.
Bon Appetit.
